Secrets, Sergeants, & Sociograms
by blvdgirl
Summary: Sergeants Harriman and Siler always seem to know what's going on at the SGC, and they intend to let one brand new general in on their secrets.


Friday, 1703 MST. 

The recently promoted Brigadier General Jack O'neill sat at his new desk in his new office. It had been a busy week. It's beginning had seemed auspicious enough what with his promotion ceremony and its companion celebration in the SGC cafeteria. There had been cake, after all.  
However, in the four days since assuming command of the base, Jack had begun to realize that the nifty new parking space came at a price. Paperwork, lots and lots of paperwork.

At the moment, he was reviewing a stack of requisitions that he had to approve before they could be submitted to the accounting department for processing. Carter wanted a fancy new transacter thingy, the custodial staff needed Windex and toilet paper, and the base was running low on MREs. And, that was just the top three forms in the small mountain of triplicate that had grown on his desk. Yikes, he thought as he picked up his pen, a guy could get carpal tunnel just from signing all of these. He was tired and frustrated and down-right cranky. An audible sigh escaped him.

That's when he heard the light rapping on the doorframe and looked up to see Sergeants Siler and Harriman peering in at him. "Sergeants?" He queried, his eyes flitting between the two of them.

Walter smiled and cleared his throat. "Sir," he began cheerfully, taking a step in the office,  
"We're your five o'clock appointment."

Jack looked at the two men with a puzzled expression on his face. Siler followed Walter into the office dragging a cart behind him. The cart was covered in various pieces of presentation technology which he began to plug in and hook up in an apparently rational manner though O'neill could make no sense of it.

"My five o'clock?"

"Yes, sir." Walter affirmed eagerly. "You can check your schedule if you want, but," he paused sheepishly, "As the one who created your schedule, I can assure you that we're on it."

At Walter's claim, Jack moved the stack of requisition papers a little to the left revealing his desk calendar. Yep, there it was in precise blue penmanship: 1700, Sergeants Siler & Harriman,  
Eyes and Ears Presentation.

"Eyes and Ears?" O'neill queried, nonplused.

"Yes, Sir," Walter responded brightly. Then, he looked at Siler who was setting up a projector screen, "Are we ready to go?"

Siler stood up, flicked a power switch on his cart, and grabbed a remote control. A computer graphic of the Stargate appeared on the blue screen before their eyes. He nodded at the General and Walter, "All set."

"Well then," Walter picked up, "Let's get started." He took several index cards from his pocket and began reading. "Eight years ago, after the initial Stargate initiative had been shut down,  
Cheyenne Mountain seemed a small and peaceful assignment. A handful of officers and enlisted personnel watched and waited as the infrastructure of the experiment was dismantled and supplies were shipped out piece by piece."

Jack looked at his watch and rolled his eyes. He had no idea where this presentation was going,  
but, if the instrumental background music was any indication, it was going to be a long one.

Walter, oblivious to or simply ignoring his base commander's discomfort, continued to read from his cards. "Then, one dark day, despair invaded the seemingly safe compound. Hostile aliens arrived through the Stargate killing several base personnel and kidnapping one beautiful Airforce sergeant, Sergeant Maria Kershaw, taking her back through the Stargate to an unknown location. The base commander at the time, General George Hammond, then set about the difficult task of reopening the Stargate program in order to assess the alien threat and to rescue Sergeant Kershaw." Walter paused here for what O'neill assumed must be dramatic effect. Then,  
he continued, "Unfortunately, though a valiant attempt was made, Sergeant Kershaw was never rescued, having been one of Earth's first victims of the evil system lord, Apophis."

A photograph of the aforementioned Sergeant Kershaw appeared on the screen with her dates of birth and death. Jack had been confused since the presentation began, but that confusion was now compounded with curiosity. While, Kershaw's rescue had been a secondary objective of the first Chulak mission, he had rarely given her death much thought and, truthfully, he didn't understand why Walter was harping on it eight years later.

Walter's spiel went on. "General Hammond informed Kershaw's family of her death in the line of duty. A small memorial service was held–it was quite beautiful actually. The General sent flowers and sympathy cards, but there was one oversight made. Unbeknown to Hammond or to Kershaw's parents, Maria had just started a romantic relationship with another Sergeant assigned to Stargate Command. While their relationship was new, he felt her loss keenly and would have suffered his mourning in solitude had Sergeant Siler not observed his attachment and informed him of the funeral plans so he could get the time off."

A light-bulb clicked on in Jack's head. "You were dating Sergeant Kershaw?" he asked Walter.

Walter nodded his head sadly, but then looked thoughtful. "Well," he conceded, "I guess it couldn't technically be called dating, since we never went out. But, it was close." He looked to Siler who gave him a silent look of support. "I was planning on asking her out, but then the aliens attacked and I never got the chance."

It was fortunate that O'neill had years of experience in hiding his emotions. He knew that it would be doing Walter a disservice to let him see the amusement he was feeling, but it was darn difficult to keep it under wraps. "I see." He managed to say while looking, he hoped, concerned.

Walter nodded to Siler who hit a button on the remote control. The words "Eyes and Ears"  
appeared on the screen. Walter spoke in reverential tones, "And, out of that experience, 'Eyes and Ears' was born." Both Walter and Siler bowed their heads.

O'neill waited almost patiently, but then he had to prod, "And just what is 'Eyes and Ears'?"

Siler took that as his cue. Referencing his own index cards he began, "Eyes and Ears is an organization established and run by Sergeant Harriman and myself to ensure that the base commander knows as much about his base personnel as possible in the event of a crisis like the one experienced by Sergeant Harriman eight years ago."

O'neill considered. "I'm sorry, Siler, but I still don't understand."

Siler broke from his cards and replied, "Well, sir. We gather information, sir. We pick it up here and there, enabling us to keep you in the loop of the lives of the people that work at the SGC.  
For example, Betty Garrow..."

"The cook from the commissary?"

"Yes, sir. That's the one. Her dog died yesterday. Now, Sergeant Harriman and myself know that you've had disagreements with Ms. Garrow before..." O'neill smiled to himself. Disagreements was a tame way of describing his merry war with Betty Garrow... "And we believe that a sympathy card would go a long way."

At this, Walter placed a sympathy card on the desk in front of O'neill and uncapped a pen for him. The front of the card showed Snoopy howling with the words "Bewailing the lose of your friend" emblazoned in gold lettering. O'neill opened the card and signed it with a flourish.

"Additionally," Siler continued, "There are four base birthdays this week: Sergeant Miller,  
Captain Cordova, Lieutenant Walker, and Dr. Johnson." Four more cards appeared on O'neill's desk. "And, you need to sign this requisition, you're sending flowers to Captain Michaels. Her father just passed away–heart attack. Oh, and one more thing, you should stop by the infirmary before you leave tonight. Lieutenant Monroe hasn't left Captain William's side since he shot him in the foot during that training exercise, and it's driving the Captain crazy, not to mention the medical staff."

Jack signed all that was placed in front of him. He was dumbstruck. His chief technical sergeant and his head gate technician were...well, they were spies. There was no other way to put it.

Walter, clearly encouraged by the General's silence, nodded to Siler that he should proceed.  
Siler clicked the remote and a new screen came up. To O'neill, it looked like a jumble of circles and lines. "What's that?" he finally asked.

Walter answered, "This is a sociogram, sir. We have one for every person who works here at the SGC. As you can see in this sample one, the employee's name is in the center circle. Then the other circles around that person show how that person is connected to everyone else. The different colors indicate different types of relationships."

"It seems confusing," Jack stated.

"It's not if you know how to use it, sir." Walter smiled indulgently, "And, this one is relatively simple. This one belongs to Anna Cristens, the new nurse. She's only been with us for two months, so her chart is a little less complex then someone who's been here longer."

O'neill studied her chart. "Why is Daniel's name in pink?"

Walter snickered, "It's in pink because she has a crush on him, sir." Jack smiled widely,  
something to rib Daniel about later. Walter continued, "If it was a mutual attachment, his name would be in red."

"I see." Jack added, his smile still shining.

Siler, correctly interpreting the smile on Jack's face, began, "Sir, while I'm sure it might be tempting to use this information in less than honorable ways..." Less than honorable, Jack was thinking, moi? "We are asking that you keep it confidential. After all, teasing Dr. Jackson about Lt. Cristens might have negative consequences for Lt. Cristens if the information leaks back to her in anyway."

Walter nodded vehemently, "We only want our knowledge to be used for good, sir. Not evil."

Jack's smile dimmed. Ok, he could see their point... Maybe. He changed topics, "Why are some circles white and others blue?"

"The blue circles are military personnel and the white are civilians. Additionally, if there is a dark green outline on the circle, that indicates whether or not that person is currently employed at the SGC."

Jack eyed the chart suspiciously, "How do you have so much information about non-SGC personnel? You've got her ex-boyfriend on there–he's never worked for the SGC. And, who is that one?" He squinted, "Is that her butcher?"

Walter and Siler exchanged controlled glances and responded in unison, "We like to be thorough, sir."

O'neill raised an eyebrow. "You're, um, not doing anything you shouldn't be doing to be getting all this information? Are you?"

Again, a conspiratorial glance and a, "No, sir."

Jack nodded in acquiescence though he didn't feel quite convinced. New thought, "You have one of these socio...things on everyone at the SGC?"

"Sociograms," Walter corrected, "And, yes, sir."

"Can I see mine?"

Siler answered, "No, sir."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not necessary at this time, sir."

"Not necessary at this time?" O'neill questioned, his voice growing heated. "I could order it, you know."

"Well, technically, sir, you could. But, when you brought me up on court martial for defying your order, I could deny that I had any sensitive information on SGC personnel, after all that might suggest that I was spying on my coworkers, and, perhaps much more detrimental, Walter and I could cut you off from our information...sir."

"Geez, Siler. You could have just said, no." O'neill pouted. "And you really think that all of this information is going to be helpful to me?"

Walter responded, "Well, sir, remember how much everyone loved General Hammond? How he always remembered birthdays and anniversaries? How he knew just what personnel needed a pep talk and when? How he knew hockey tickets would go over better than a jelly-of-the-month club subscription?"

O'neill looked at his two Sergeants and smiled. "That was you guys?"

"That was us," Walter proudly admitted.

"Well, I guess keeping those 'Eyes and Ears' open couldn't hurt." O'neill acknowledged.  
"What's it gonna cost me?"

Siler answered, "We're line item 74 in the general operating budget. Just make sure that we don't get cut, sir."

"Is that all, Sergeants?" O'neill asked standing up.

"Yes, sir." Walter responded.

"Great. Then, get this stuff cleaned up. I'm on my way to the infirmary to visit Lt. Monroe and Cpt. Williams." And, then, he thought, I have a very interesting phone call to make to one General George Hammond.

O'neill paused partway through the door and looked back over his shoulder at the two Sergeants dismantling their presentation equipment. "Sergeants, I don't suppose I could see Carter's sociographic thingy..."


End file.
